By Pastor Bob DeKlavon
My father died when I was 14.
I was part of a very active youth group with a very dynamic Bible teacher.
A few weeks before he died, she asked me if I would cry when he was gone.
To get the whole story you need to know that he had just given his life to Christ a few months before.
At 14, a young Christian myself, talking to a Bible teacher, I gave what I thought was the right answer...
“No.” That simple.
I figured he was going to heaven, so wasn’t that the answer I was supposed to give?
She challenged my thinking with words from the Apostle Paul.
To the Thessalonians he wrote about those who died, and he offered these words:
“But we do not want you to be uninformed, brethren, about those who are asleep,
That you may not grieve as do the rest who have no hope.” (emphasis mine)
Her point? That even as Christians we still grieve, but we grieve differently because of our hope in Jesus...
I have been a minister for decades walking with people through incredible grief.
Often, people will share the same sentiment that I shared.
Words like:
I am angry and I know I shouldn’t be.
I am sad and I can’t stop crying and I know I should just trust God.
I am…….well……you fill in your blank.
Often I share my story with this reminder: God knows us and God made us.
Part of our make-up is the ability to grieve.
To try and hold in our grief means trying to hide our emotions which God knows anyway.
During times like we are facing now it is easy to feel we are letting God down by being anxious or sad. Yet, the pages of Scripture are filled with people who grieved—yet, put their trust in God.
The word lament means, "to express grief." When I cannot relate to the pain of another, I will often tell them I am lamenting for them.
Jesus lamented over facing the cross. Yet, at the end He said: “Father, not my will but Yours.”
Habakkuk lamented over the injustice and sins of Israel. Yet, read the end of his book to see that even though his body hurt—he would exult in the Lord.
David asked 4 times “how long” in Psalm 13 as he wrestled with what was happening in his life. Yet, even though his circumstances had not changed he can say at the end: “I have trusted and I rejoice and I sing to the LORD…because He has dealt bountifully with me.”
We DO grieve—we just don’t do it in a vacuum.
We have a God Who knows us and Who knows our circumstances and will use them for His glory. During these days of unknown and suffering for many—lift your voice in lamentation.
Then—remember the One Who gives us hope even during our grief and exult in Him.