By Pastor Bob DeKlavon
I need to offer a long introduction before I get to the point...
As a pastor, I get the privilege of sharing in great events: Weddings, baptisms, child dedications and…funerals.
In my very first pastoral position, it came time to do my very first ‘live’ funeral.
What? You didn’t think pastors’ practice these services in graduate school?
Well, there would be something awkward about doing a "funeral" for a classmate who is lying flat while still breathing...
So…I came to do my first real funeral.
To make things complicated, it was for someone I'd never met! This woman was moving with her husband down to Fort Meyers, and she died along the way.
What to do? What to do?
I prayed for the rapture to occur or for a resurrection of the body. Neither happened.
I called a former pastor "long distance." This was back in the day when you had to pay individually for those types of calls. I asked him what I should do and how I should proceed. To this day, over 30 years later, I can remember him saying the following: “The most important thing you have to do is…………….(long pause)...”
I sat forward in my chair—pen ready and palms sweaty—as I waited for this “most important thing.”
Again, he said: “the most important thing you have to do is…show up.”
I can still recall the nervous chuckle that came as he then explained: In the midst of crises, your presence means more than anything else.
Over the years, I have lost count of the number of funerals I have done.
I share the advice mentioned above at most of these.
There is just something about crises that makes our presence all that more valuable.
Right now we are experiencing a worldwide crisis.
People are in isolation and people are scared, nervous, or both.
This is where the church comes in. This week, the sermon will remind us that Christians are connected to one another because of Jesus. Next week, we will talk about how simply 'being present' can have an impact on those who don’t know Him.
In John 13:35 Jesus said, “By this all will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another.”
I have seen people absolutely ‘GUSH’ at funerals about the flowers sent by Aunt Marge and Uncle Joe. I have heard people say while walking by the open casket: “doesn’t he look good?” {I will say that I often think: “no, he looks dead,” but that is another blog for another day}. Mostly, though, I have seen people break into tears as they see people who come to offer a hug. It is in the moments of grief that emotions are touched the most.
I pray that now, more than ever, we will be ‘present’ as God gives us opportunities to deal with grief.